What is this thing?
Who left it here?
Is it heavy? Is it attached to anything?
Whose is it? Is anyone looking? Where does it plug in? Can you pick it up? Where do the batteries go? How much does it cost?
Look at it now! Did it move?
What is it doing here? Does it belong to anyone? Can I carry it home? Maybe I can put it in a grocery sack… Did it come out of the river? Does it smell? Is it hollow? Is something inside it? Is it made of glass? Will it break? Can I pound on it with my fist? My shoe? Analog or digital? Was it made in China? What does it do? Does it light up? Will it clean my room? Does it reduce odors? Is it drying? Is it melting? Does it point to magnetic north? Can I show it to my mother? Is it alive?
Does it know we’re here? What is it thinking about? Is it thinking about me? Does it know I’m thinking about it? Will it make me smarter? What does it do? How did it get here? Who’s in charge?
Does it float? Have I got the scale all wrong? It looks like an iceberg. Will it ambulate? Is it fogged up, or is that just the way it looks? Is it warm? Warmer than my hand? Can I hold it? Will it like me?
Can it be my friend? Can I take it home? Will it fit in the cupboard? If I put it under my pillow, will anyone know its there? I want to hug it. Will it nuzzle me? Can I leave it in the yard? Will it get larger if left in the rain? Will the cat want to play with it? Is it sticky? Can I cast it adrift? I’m itchy. Is it making me itch? Is it better with chocolate syrup? Can I wrap it in a tortilla?
Don’t tell anyone its here. Let’s leave it on the railroad tracks. Will it shatter, or flatten out like a penny? Is it moldy? Maybe it’s rotten. Where did it come from? Was it stolen? Was it bought out of the back of a truck? Did it come free with a purchase of equal or greater value? Is it making me dizzy? Is it wet? Should I wash my hands?
Will it fit through the door? Will my co-workers be bothered? Can I wear it on my back? Does it roll, or slide? Is it self-adhesive? Does it take quarters? How do you turn it off? Is it getting hotter? Am I getting hotter? You don’t suppose it’s dangerous? Will it attract flies?
Will it make me attractive? Will other people want it? Will it increase in value? Does it improve my odds? Does it improve my outlook? Is it looking out for me? Will I need to comb it? Is it impressive? Where would I sell it? Can I slice it in two? Are there any others? Does it have intrinsic worth? Is it lucky? Will it deter ne’er-do-wells? Does it have structural integrity?
Will it stop the headaches? Can I keep it next to me? Is it broken? Is it art? Is it obsolete? Should I write home about it? Can we Google it? Is it meant to be experienced? Am I experiencing it? Is it experiencing me? What do you do with it? Can I put it in brine?
Let’s draw a mustache on it!
Are there instructions? Is it missing parts? Who can we ask? Will it fit in the palm of my hand? If I take it on the bus, will anyone notice? Will it fit in my pocket? Can I write a check? Should I apply it to my head? Should I apply to my life? Will it keep the swelling down? Can it be reheated? If I put it behind the tire, will it stop the car from rolling downhill?
Is it making a noise? Is it humming? To itself? Can I put it in the window, to keep the pane from falling? Is it sending signals I can’t detect? Who else knows its here? Should I report it? If I toss it off the bridge, will it try to fly? Can I lease it to my friends? I can sell it to you if you’re interested…
If I don’t like it, can I slip it under the table to the dog? Will it make me famous? Was it seen on tv? Will it make my teeth whiter? Will it make me whiter? Will it influence people? Can I fit it under my arm? Is it water resistant? Is it encoded? Will it grow? Will it accept my love?
So, can I just take it, then? Is it French? Is there a label? Is it lost? Am I lost? Is it binary? Is it inscribed with language? Is it infused with meaning? Is it pedagogical? Is it a sign? Is it waffled? Can I stick a fork in it? Does it have bones? An exoskeleton?
Is it a diversion? Is it a red herring?
Is it dreaming? Of me? What is it made of? How does it make me feel?
Is this some kind of joke?
What is it all about? What does it amount to?
Where does it lead? Is it all coming to a head?
Is this all there is?
Who left it here?
Is it heavy? Is it attached to anything?
Whose is it? Is anyone looking? Where does it plug in? Can you pick it up? Where do the batteries go? How much does it cost?
Look at it now! Did it move?
What is it doing here? Does it belong to anyone? Can I carry it home? Maybe I can put it in a grocery sack… Did it come out of the river? Does it smell? Is it hollow? Is something inside it? Is it made of glass? Will it break? Can I pound on it with my fist? My shoe? Analog or digital? Was it made in China? What does it do? Does it light up? Will it clean my room? Does it reduce odors? Is it drying? Is it melting? Does it point to magnetic north? Can I show it to my mother? Is it alive?
Does it know we’re here? What is it thinking about? Is it thinking about me? Does it know I’m thinking about it? Will it make me smarter? What does it do? How did it get here? Who’s in charge?
Does it float? Have I got the scale all wrong? It looks like an iceberg. Will it ambulate? Is it fogged up, or is that just the way it looks? Is it warm? Warmer than my hand? Can I hold it? Will it like me?
Can it be my friend? Can I take it home? Will it fit in the cupboard? If I put it under my pillow, will anyone know its there? I want to hug it. Will it nuzzle me? Can I leave it in the yard? Will it get larger if left in the rain? Will the cat want to play with it? Is it sticky? Can I cast it adrift? I’m itchy. Is it making me itch? Is it better with chocolate syrup? Can I wrap it in a tortilla?
Don’t tell anyone its here. Let’s leave it on the railroad tracks. Will it shatter, or flatten out like a penny? Is it moldy? Maybe it’s rotten. Where did it come from? Was it stolen? Was it bought out of the back of a truck? Did it come free with a purchase of equal or greater value? Is it making me dizzy? Is it wet? Should I wash my hands?
Will it fit through the door? Will my co-workers be bothered? Can I wear it on my back? Does it roll, or slide? Is it self-adhesive? Does it take quarters? How do you turn it off? Is it getting hotter? Am I getting hotter? You don’t suppose it’s dangerous? Will it attract flies?
Will it make me attractive? Will other people want it? Will it increase in value? Does it improve my odds? Does it improve my outlook? Is it looking out for me? Will I need to comb it? Is it impressive? Where would I sell it? Can I slice it in two? Are there any others? Does it have intrinsic worth? Is it lucky? Will it deter ne’er-do-wells? Does it have structural integrity?
Will it stop the headaches? Can I keep it next to me? Is it broken? Is it art? Is it obsolete? Should I write home about it? Can we Google it? Is it meant to be experienced? Am I experiencing it? Is it experiencing me? What do you do with it? Can I put it in brine?
Let’s draw a mustache on it!
Are there instructions? Is it missing parts? Who can we ask? Will it fit in the palm of my hand? If I take it on the bus, will anyone notice? Will it fit in my pocket? Can I write a check? Should I apply it to my head? Should I apply to my life? Will it keep the swelling down? Can it be reheated? If I put it behind the tire, will it stop the car from rolling downhill?
Is it making a noise? Is it humming? To itself? Can I put it in the window, to keep the pane from falling? Is it sending signals I can’t detect? Who else knows its here? Should I report it? If I toss it off the bridge, will it try to fly? Can I lease it to my friends? I can sell it to you if you’re interested…
If I don’t like it, can I slip it under the table to the dog? Will it make me famous? Was it seen on tv? Will it make my teeth whiter? Will it make me whiter? Will it influence people? Can I fit it under my arm? Is it water resistant? Is it encoded? Will it grow? Will it accept my love?
So, can I just take it, then? Is it French? Is there a label? Is it lost? Am I lost? Is it binary? Is it inscribed with language? Is it infused with meaning? Is it pedagogical? Is it a sign? Is it waffled? Can I stick a fork in it? Does it have bones? An exoskeleton?
Is it a diversion? Is it a red herring?
Is it dreaming? Of me? What is it made of? How does it make me feel?
Is this some kind of joke?
What is it all about? What does it amount to?
Where does it lead? Is it all coming to a head?
Is this all there is?
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